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Interview With a Flea

By Chris Williams on August 3, 2016.

Colonial: Thank you for taking the time to be with us today Ms. Flea,  I know that you don’t like to be away from your dog.

Flea: That’s true. People think we jump on the dog just when we’re hungry but we’re really onboard all the time. That’s why I’m shaped this way. My nice flattened silhouette lets me move in between the dog’s hairs, no problem, and these spines on my legs let me hang on to the hairs. I just don’t know what to do with myself if I’m not living on some animal.

Colonial: I understand that you don’t even take time off for egg laying.

Flea: There’s no need to. I lay about 20 eggs a day while I’m on the dog. The eggs just drop right off the animal. Fortunately most of them end up where the dog sleeps or hangs out, which is right where I want them to be.

Colonial: What happens to your eggs then if you’re not around to take care of them?

Flea: They don’t need me but little do they know that I’m near by. My larvae learn to fend for themselves. When those eggs hatch, the larvae already have food that mama has provided waiting in that dog’s bed. They feed mostly on my fecal droppings, or poop if you prefer, that ends up where the dog sleeps. It’s not that gross because it’s really just dried, processed blood from the dog. Looks like tiny black flecks.

Colonial: Don’t most people notice your larvae living in the dog’s bed?

Flea: You’d be surprised. Most people don’t know that my larvae look totally different than me. They’re little white wormy things until they pupate and come out looking jut like one of the family.

Colonial: Doesn’t vacuuming and cleaning kill your larvae then?

Flea: Not usually. Those little guys know to hide underneath things and I’ve told them to get down into the base of the carpet and hang on for dear life. Like I say, a lot of people don’t even know the larvae are there. They think if they treat the dog for fleas, that they’ve done the job. Now, when my time comes I’ll be ready to go, knowing that my children will follow in my footsteps. They’ll soon be big blood-sucking fleas in their own right… as long as no one calls the exterminator!

Colonial: To follow-up on this conversation with a flea, see:

Photo Credit : By Auguste Le Roux – Own work, Public Domain / wikipedia commons

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